Late Night Reflections
by azhure453
Summary: A series of short reflections that Will and Mac might have had during/after each episode.
1. Chapter 1

**Late Night Reflections**

After the end of Season 2 I just had to go back and start watching from the beginning. This is just a series of short reflections that Will and Mac might have had during/after each episode.

* * *

_1x01 – We Just Decided To_

Mac:

Lying in bed that night, Mac relaxed into the softness of the mattress with a sigh as she had done every night since she'd returned from the Middle East. It was so good to be home again and she was still coming to accept the fact that she was back, safe and sleeping in a normal bed again. Tonight though that feeling was at war with the stress of having spent the day working at News Night. Seeing Will again had been hard enough, but realising the animosity he still held towards her was almost unbearable. She didn't expect things to go back to what they were before but she'd hoped they could be friends at least.

It had been so good to see him despite his attitude. He looked as good as she remembered, and while she thought he looked great on air in a suit, seeing him in his casual wear always made her heart turn over. It was hard having to hide what she felt but she knew he'd have thrown her out straight away if she'd even suggested she was still in love with him. But she could still go head to head with him about work without fear. Getting that part of their relationship back was almost enough, at least for now. Even when they'd been a couple they'd argued about work issues on a regular basis. Will needed to get back to doing what he was meant to do – the news – and she wanted to make that happen. Mac laughed out loud remembering their discussion right before the show. She'd thought he was going to have a heart attack when he looked at the preview monitor but he'd been shutting her out and that couldn't be allowed if they were going to work together.

Who knew what would happen though. At the end there, things had been better. It had been a great show. Later, they'd had a whole conversation devoid of animosity and he'd seemed almost concerned when he'd mentioned Charlie's comments about her being exhausted. She couldn't let him see the truth of that– neither of them was really ready to deal with her fairly fragile emotional state. He'd opened up to her though, revealing that he'd been flustered at Northwestern because he thought he'd seen her in the audience. She almost chased after him to tell him that it was her but maybe, for now, it was better him not knowing. It had given her hope for the future and she didn't want to do anything that might ruin that.

Will:

With a glass of scotch on the table next to him and a lit cigarette in his hand, Will was lying out on the terrace as he did most nights after the show, trying to decompress. He was finding it more difficult tonight than usual and there was only one reason for that. Mac. He'd been furious at Charlie for pulling this off behind his back. Intellectually he understood his reasoning, and even sympathised with Mac's situation, but to see her and work with her again was almost unbearable. The hurt hadn't lessened, probably, if he was honest with himself, because he'd held on so tightly to it. And although he wouldn't show it, he'd been hurt to know how badly thought of he was by the people he worked with. He didn't realise how much he'd alienated everyone around him over the past few years. He really had been shutting himself off from everyone, not allowing himself to get close to anyone after his and Mac's relationship fell apart.

As much as he hated to admit it, Mac was right about the show. It had become a poor excuse for a news show, resembling the daytime chat shows more than he cared to admit. The idea of doing the news properly again was exciting but scary and he wasn't sure if he could be that person again, not caring about the ratings or how his audience felt about him. They'd become the substitute for everything that was missing in his life. He'd felt good tonight during the show though, more energised than he had in a long time. Despite the uncertainties of where the story was headed, breaking real news, investigating the issues and running the entire hour on the fly had been exhilarating. He'd never tell her but Mac was right and they could do better.


	2. Chapter 2

1x02 – News Night 2.0

Mac:

Sitting at Hang Chew's, Mac was trying to forget the disaster that had been the day with a glass of scotch. Unfortunately it wasn't doing its job. The day had been one unmitigated disaster after enough. Regardless of the reasons, they'd managed to achieve the opposite of everything they'd been aiming for, and to top it all off, she'd managed to hurt and humiliate Will with that stupid email. Then after the show, she'd been furious at Will for the Sarah Palin piece but she understood in a way – it was hard to erase bad habits overnight. Still he needed to know where she stood if they were going to do the show together. Once she'd calmed down the whole day had caught up with her and she found herself thinking that maybe she shouldn't have come back. So now she was just feeling completely miserable, trying to work out how to make things right and failing.

Will:

Standing on the terrace with the city skyline spread out before him always relaxed Will – as much as he ever relaxed anyway. The entire evening had left him deflated – the show had been a disaster for which he had to shoulder part of the blame. Mac had laid into him afterwards and he couldn't fault her for that, not really. She was right, if this was going to work, he needed to be committed to being a different person, to being a better person, and to letting her do her job. Not only that, he didn't want Mac to leave the show. As hard as it was having Mac around on a personal level, professionally she challenged him and made him a better newsman, a better person. If he was being completely honest with himself, he couldn't have her disappear from his life again. He wasn't ready to forgive and forget their past, but it was intoxicating having her around again, arguing with him, hearing her voice in his ear during broadcasts, seeing her passion for the news and for what they were trying to do.

Mac:

Expecting to hear over the weekend that she didn't have a job anymore, Mac was still somewhat stunned that Will had called to say he was in, and that he had called so quickly. From being totally depressed about the day and their relationship, a few minutes of conversation and suddenly the world had righted itself. It was wrong that one conversation with Will could make everything seem okay again, he still had that much power over her. Her world was better for his being in it even when she knew he was still angry and resentful on a personal level. For now, he was committing to her on a professional level, and that was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

1x03 The 112th Congress

Mac:

She way lying in her bed, alone, staring at the ceiling. It was dark with only the faint glow of the city peeking around the edges of the blinds and her ever present night light glowing softly from the wall.

She'd begged off when Wade had suggested she spend the night at his place or that he could come over to hers, using the long election coverage and her subsequent tiredness as an excuse. He'd accepted the excuse readily enough which made her feel guilty. She _was_ exhausted, it wasn't a complete lie, but she was nearly always exhausted so it wasn't much of an excuse really. The truth was she couldn't bring herself to sleep with Wade tonight. They'd been dating for three months, and while she knew she couldn't hide the relationship forever, she still struggled with it being out in the open. She didn't want to hurt Will and it had felt like she was betraying him all over again.

They'd been getting on better in the last few months although she knew Will was still angry with her a lot of the time. His constant dating and bringing the women to the newsroom had hurt her and Mac didn't want to do the same to Will. She didn't want to flaunt the fact that she was in a relationship in front of him even if he didn't seem to have any qualms about doing it to her.

So here she lay, wanting to move on, trying to forge a relationship with someone who wasn't Will, but instead lying alone in bed feeling tired and sad.

Will:

He was restless, unable to settle after getting home from the election coverage. It wasn't unusual for him to be wired after a show, but tonight was different. Even the good scotch he was drinking and multiple cigarettes hadn't helped. He moved from the lounge to stand at the balcony railing, looking down over Manhattan, wondering if they were together. He hated thinking of Mac with another man, it brought back too many memories of last time, even though they weren't together now so it shouldn't matter.

But of course, it did matter, just like it had mattered to Mac that he was parading all those women through the newsroom. And while he still felt that Mac deserved it after what she'd done to their relationship, Maggie's reprimand tonight had him feeling guilty about it.

He was kidding himself though, pretending that he'd moved on by dating all these women. Seeing Mac with Wade tonight had made him realise that he hadn't moved on at all. He hadn't forgiven her, hadn't forgotten what she did and he hadn't stopped wanting to be the only man in her life. But obviously she didn't feel the same way about him.


End file.
